The Name Behind the Person: Cassie

ROCKY ROAD, Pran’s Office: In a totally brand-new column that I stole from CPAH 2020 (because for real, who cares), I will be analyzing(criticizing) people’s names. The first person to have the luxury of being criticized for having parents give them such a name will be Cassie, the owner, and leader of Fire Warriors!

To start, let’s look at the most outrageous possible misspellings: [REDACTED]ie, Catsie, Cattie, Casie, and Casio Prime. Cassie’s name can be spelled with a SWEAR WORD, while the rules specifically state “no swearing in #general”. At one point, Cassie’s name was filtered by a bot in the Fire Warriors discord server itself! Who would ever agree to have a name that’s filtered? The answer: Only a person that uses their name with malicious intent.

As well as a swear word, a common misspelling of her name could be “Catsie”. Very interesting that she loves some specific emotes where a CAT is dancing or a CAT is smoking[1]. Take it away, Bernie!

On a more serious note, Cassie’s name could also be misspelled as “Casio Prime”, a calculator that most people have not heard of. This makes more sense than the other two, seeing as how irrelevant she is to the army community to call the Boiler Room the best battle room in the supreme Dark Warriors of Club Penguin. This should’ve been enough sarcasm for Cassie’s name, right? WRONG. These misspellings were only the beginning, the beginning of a much darker name (and profile pictures — seriously, what’s up with all those black pfps?).

Noticing this, Cassie decided to change her name to “Kaos”. Funny that she should change it to that AFTER the post where I, Investigative Reporter Pran, unveiled her plan to take over as the supreme overlord[lady?] of FW. (Link to that post can be found by clicking HERE) Kaos, chaos? Get it? Another reason why she might have changed her name is that she is planning on changing the Fire Warriors into Chaos of CP, an army that a former leader, Orange, of one of our allies, the Ice Warriors, led in the past.

I was fortunate enough to interview the [woman? girl? person? cat?] herself!

Fire Warriors News Center: What is your real name?

Cassie: My true discord name is known only by a few who were around when I first emerged over a year ago as a young troop in DW.. chr00sky.

Fire Warriors News Center: Is there a reason that you picked that name?

Cassie: To remain anonymous, that way I could be whoever I wanted to be. Which according to some was a “young Russian boy” :flushed: Who knows, I might still be a catfish, I could be a complete fabrication, does Cassie even exist? 🙂

Fire Warriors News Center: Anything more you have to say before being taken to jail?

Cassie: No jail can keep me imprisoned for long. Just you wait, I’ll burn the entire place down to the ground. :goo~4: :fire:

Well, there you have it! Cassie is actually a hardened criminal, as proven by this post, and her name is a conundrum that not even I could solve! Thanks for reading this excuse of a post, and make sure to either comment or dm me at “Pranav#2004” or whatever my tag is that day, to be featured in the next edition of: “The Name behind the Person“.

[1] Legal disclaimer for children under 18: Smoking is bad and can be injurious to health. We recommend not smoking, and both AustinFraud and Cassie are being taken to the hospital for this.

Keeping the Fire Bright

Pran

FW 2nd in Command

One Response

  1. austinfraud whats your real name

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